Why I Don’t Need to be Healed

Recently, I came across a quote by David Busby.  I had written it in one of my old journals.

“Am I healed of the need to be healed?”

I don’t remember where I found it originally, however I remember the feeling it evoked when I read it.  The thought had never crossed my mind.

Intrigued once again, I decided to search the life of David Busby.  I found a man who devoted his life to Jesus each and every day.

David Busby passionately surrendered his life to God then shared his life without reservation.  Despite his battles with cystic fibrosis, polio, liver disease, heart disease, and diabetes, Busby was fully committed to sharing Jesus with others.

How could a terminally ill person like David Busby be healed from the need to be healed? 

Considering the pressure chronically ill Christians face to be healed, this was an excellent question.  I cannot control my illness, my healing, or God.  Therefore, it’s completely insensitive for Christians to treat others this way.

After reading the quote by David Busby, I wanted the burden lifted.  It’s no longer about why is this happening to me?  Is it my lack of faith?  Is it sin in my life?  If that were so, then I would identify with the karma theology author Ester Fleece talks about in her book No More Faking Fine: Ending the Pretending (you will read more about her later).

Suffering is not a result of cause and effect.  With this understanding, I have learned a few things that helped me through this process of healing.

  • Lament

One sleepless night, I accidentally ordered a book called No More Faking Fine:  Ending the pretending by Ester Fleece.  It was one of my best accidents.

Lament is a prayer that expresses our deepest, honest emotions.  It is a cry out to God when life isn’t going as planned.

The healing that lament brought in my life was powerful.  I was allowed to question.  I was allowed to mourn.  I was allowed to grieve, yet not feel stuck in my grief.

According to Ms. Fleece, “Pain can serve a purpose if pain leads us to Him.” 

Something to ponder, “the Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit”.  (Psalm 34:18)  We need to ask ourselves as a church and as Believers, are we living this verse?

  • Purpose

I read somewhere, chronic illness is a life long sentence of incurable suffering.  Most people are completely uncomfortable with this.  Insisting God wants to physically heal me, some expressed the only thing standing in my way is my own lack of faith.

I have never felt the Lord telling me it was His Will to heal me.  Being a follower of Jesus  does not guarantee healing from infirmities.  Over time, I am realizing that my purpose is in Jesus, even with a broken body.

  • Healing

In most situations we think of healing in a physical way.  Despite what happens to our physical body, God desires to heal us spiritually.  Considering he was afflicted with suffering, Paul was a gifted writer on the subject.

2 Corinthians 4:16 says, “Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day.”  I’ve always identified with this verse since I’ve experienced deep physical suffering.

Let’s look earlier in 2 Corinthians 4:1, Paul discusses Treasures in Jars of Clay.

As Christians, we are the jars of clay.  We carry in our jar of clay the gospel message.  The treasure!

The truth is that in our human insufficiency, God is sufficient!

Since I believe in this statement, I am healed the need to be healed.  God is sufficient.

What is holding you back from the need to be healed?

Please share your own story because we all have a story worth sharing.

6 thoughts on “Why I Don’t Need to be Healed

  1. I love this Jenni. You are such an amazing work of Him to trust that “whate’er the Lord ordains is right”. I am thankful for your honesty, and how the Lord uses it to build my faith. Such a sweet a reminder of His grace and how He turns ashes to beauty, weakness to strength, last to first, brokenness to wholeness…. what a beautiful bride you will be when He returns. I will pray for you tonight.

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    1. Thank you, Karen! I hope you order the book. I like to look through it now and then to see things I underlined, circled, remarks I wrote in the margins, etc. It blesses me every time! It’s one of those books I think everyone would benefit from. If you do read it, I’d love to know what you think.

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